Week 31

A little over a year ago we had just finished our first IVF cycle. I was angry, jaded, disappointed, sad... and look at me now.

I know it's been a while since i've written. At first, i didn't want to say much about my pregnancy. Scared about a miscarriage, i thought that if i waited until at least wk 12, i'd feel better and be ready to talk about it. But wk 12 came and went with no drama. And now here we are at week 31. And sometimes i really think we're still in denial.

To say that everything has been "perfect" would be closer to the truth than to say that it's been terrible. Each week has come and gone with no dramas. No problems. Nothing to worry about. Nothing to be scared about. Not even one trip to the bathroom to chuck up breakfast, lunch or dinner. But how quickly we forget how hard we've tried to make this baby and start to focus on the aches and pains and how uncomfortable i feel at times.

Still, as i sit here at 4am in the morning, unable to sleep, a little munchkin alien bumping around in my belly, starving, thirsty, busting for a wee (again), i feel so, so grateful that i have been given this miracle. And at week 31 with everything going well and only 9 weeks until my delivery date, I take a moment to think about how lucky i am and how i should enjoy the discomforts, the pokes and jabs into my bladder, the constant need to stuff my face with anything unhealthy that i can get my hand on, the hourly wake ups at night, the worry (yes, i still worry), the hemorroids and constipation, the feeling of being a little sick ever so often - but not sick enough to throw up, the sore knuckles, the aching feet, the one stretch mark i've found, the rapidly growing belly that doesn't seem like it can take much more stretching, the idea that a great big giant change in my life is only a few weeks away...