I went to my friends 15 week ultrasound today and actually saw a beating heart on the monitor. It was wonderful. I thought to myself. Now that's what it's supposed to look like.
If it had been anyone else, i don't think i would have been able to deal with seeing that monitor and the little tiny being who is so tiny but yet so perfect sitting there inside my friends body. But i love T and am so happy for her so i was there to support her because her partner was away.
Though, it is hard. I look at her and wish i could to have a baby, to see that flutter of the heart on the ultrasound monitor, to hear the doctor tell me that everything looks great and there's a 1 in 16 million chance that anything will go wrong.
So i still wait. i just wish i knew what was going on.
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Hi, I just read all of your post... I have tears in my eye from reading about your miscarraige and the pain that you felt... it took me years of pain to get over my first loss too... wait.. what am I saying I am still not over it, I don't think the pain will ever go away, but you do get better and I am glad about that.
I don't think there will ever be a year that you don't think about how old your baby is suposed to be... I don't think that we should have to stop thinking about that... they are still our baby.
I know it must have been hard to go to your friends u/s... I can't imagine... I hope that you are able to get pregnant soon... and that will be your u/s with the healthy beating heart and perfect baby.
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